RILEY''S TRUCK FETISH HAS FORCED me to confront a much bigger, profoundly resonant issue. I expected to approach childrearing on an individual basis -- one mom to one boy. But the older Riley gets, the more I find that I am dealing with huge forces, maybe even genes, informing our relationship in ways I did not expect. I have a son who loves trucks, a love that seems to be a common denominator among boy toddlers; even Riley''s gentle, retiring friend Justin is wild for them. Many afternoons, when I would love to sit quietly with my little boy, reading, drawing, telling stories, listening to music, he bounces about wildly, waving dump trucks in my face, rushing after the cats, shrieking. I''ve watched first-time moms of girls look on in horror as Riley revs around the playroom at the library, wrenching books and toys from other kids, shouting, looking for reactions and connections, looking to make friends. Normal boy behavior? It pleases me that some of my antiracism work can inform my ongoing exploration of gender differences: Respecting and accommodating differences doesn''t mean we raise one gender above the other. We just accept that they are different.

In Dean''s case, he learned some very important points regarding service, preventive maintenance and driving skills when he helped assemble and test-drive his first fun kart. Those lessons include:1. How to read and follow instructions2. How to use the correct tools to assemble a fun kart3. How and why to check engine oil before each use4. How to inflate tires to the correct pressure5. How to place a vehicle on safety stands before testing or working on it6. How to start a rope-pull engine7. How to block a wheel when parked

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